A Few Months with My Dadaji – A Retro Reflection

It was the year 2001. I had just begun spending more time with my paternal grandfather, a man of wisdom, experience, and deep-rooted traditions. He was an octogenarian, a respected Ayurvedic practitioner, lovingly called "Kabiraj" by the villagers. His journey from hardship to prominence had made him a household name among 50–100 surrounding villages.

As a child, I missed growing up under his shadow, but perhaps that was a blessing in disguise. Because when I finally got the chance to be in his presence as an adult, I had the maturity to truly appreciate his wisdom. A short span of time, yet an intense learning experience.

Dadaji had an extraordinary way of understanding people. His words were not just mere conversations; they were philosophies, reflections, and lessons crafted from his life experiences. I would sit beside him with my diary, noting down everything he said—sometimes debating, sometimes disagreeing, but always walking away with a mind broadened and a heart enriched.

Lessons in Life Through Verses

One evening, as the golden hue of the setting sun bathed our courtyard, he recited a Sanskrit verse:

"Shovadhare Kusuma Nikare, Kinsuke Nasi Gandham

Gandhadhare Gagana Bihage, Chandane Nasti Puspam..."

I stared at him, waiting for an explanation. He smiled and continued:

"Despite its exquisite beauty, the Kinsuka (Flame of the Forest) lacks fragrance. Whereas the Sandalwood, known for its mesmerizing aroma, does not bear flowers. The Sugarcane is the sweetest, yet it bears no fruit. The Ketaki (Pandanus), though beautiful, is forbidden because of its thorny nature."

He paused, then asked, “What’s the moral, my grand son?”

I pondered. Beauty, fragrance, sweetness—each had its own lacking. It was a reminder that perfection does not exist. Every strength comes with a weakness. Every blessing carries a burden.

He continued with another:

"Ja Sundara Tat Banita Kurupa

Ja Sundari Tat Pati Rupahina..."

"If a man is handsome, his wife may be unattractive. If a woman is beautiful, her husband may be plain. And if both are attractive, poverty may dwell in their home. How strange is fate!"

I chuckled at the humor in this verse, but beneath it lay a deep reflection on life’s unpredictable nature. The world, he explained, is full of paradoxes. Even the moon has scars, the lotus emerges from muddy waters, and the wise often suffer from poverty.

The Insatiable Nature of Desire

One evening, as we sat on the veranda, he spoke about desires and their endless hunger:

"Na Jatu Kama Kamanam, Upabhoge Nasamyati

Habisa Krishnavatwee, Bhoya Eeba Vivardhate..."

"Desires do not diminish with their fulfillment. Like fire fueled by ghee, they only grow stronger."

His words echoed in my mind long after the conversation ended. Wasn’t it true? The more we satisfy our wants, the more we crave. Contentment is a rare virtue.

The Four Brothers of Wealth

One day, I asked him about money and its significance. He smiled knowingly and said:

"Wealth has four brothers, my child."

I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. He continued:

"Dhanasya Chatura Bhrata – Dharmagnee, Nrupa, Taskara...

Jyosta Bhrata Prakupyanti, Kupyante Eetaroopi Cha..."

"The four brothers of wealth are:*

Dharma (righteousness) – If wealth is not used for good, it is consumed by karma.

The King (taxation) – The government always takes its share.

Thieves – Money attracts greed and crime.

Fire – A mishap can burn away fortunes in seconds.

"If you anger the eldest brother (Dharma), the other three will follow suit."

It was a profound lesson—wealth is not just about accumulation, but about its righteous use.

Sunday Mornings of Giving

One of the most heartwarming traditions I witnessed was his weekly act of kindness. Every Sunday morning, he would prepare small paper packets containing coins—10 paisa, 20 paisa, 25 paisa, 50 paisa, or sometimes 1 rupee. These he distributed to the destitute, mostly lepers, who gathered near our home.

One day, I noticed that some beggars expressed dissatisfaction, demanding only 1-rupee coins. Their ingratitude irritated me. That evening, I told Dadaji not to give money to those who complained.

He listened patiently, then recited another Sanskrit verse:

"Tuno Naikasare Karena Dasadha...

Atat Bana Parakramesu Mahima, Satpatre Danam Yatha..."

He explained, “Just as an arrow splits into thousands in battle, generosity must multiply despite complaints. Giving is not about the receiver’s gratitude; it is about the giver’s intent.”

That night, I reflected on true charity—it is not about expecting appreciation but about fulfilling one’s own duty to humanity.

Final Thoughts

Dadaji’s lessons were not mere words; they were philosophies etched into my soul. His presence in my life, even for a few months, reshaped my understanding of people, desires, wealth, and generosity.

He was more than a grandfather—he was a sage, a teacher, a beacon of wisdom. And even today, whenever I sit down in solitude, I hear his voice reciting those verses, whispering life’s eternal truths.

Wisdom in Verses: A Grandfather’s Timeless Legacy

The narrative of spending time with a wise, aging grandfather is not just a personal reflection but a universal theme—one that resonates across cultures, generations, and philosophies. The experience of sitting beside a learned elder, absorbing their wisdom through verses, stories, and metaphors, is a gift that few recognize in their youth. But as the author rightly realizes, true wisdom is best appreciated when one has the maturity to understand its depth.

This story is not just about an old man imparting wisdom; it is about the art of learning—about absorbing life lessons that transcend time. The grandfather, lovingly known as "Kabiraj," was more than an Ayurvedic practitioner; he was a philosopher, a sage, a storyteller. His teachings were not sermons but poetic truths wrapped in the cadence of Sanskrit verses—each one carrying profound meaning.

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The Philosophy of Imperfection: The Beauty in Flaws

One of the most striking lessons comes from the verse about the Flame of the Forest and Sandalwood, Sugarcane and Ketaki—each possessing something remarkable yet lacking something else.

This is a deeply philosophical perspective on life. The pursuit of perfection is an illusion, for every strength comes with a limitation. We admire intelligence, but it may lack warmth. We value beauty, but it may lack depth. We chase wealth, but it may rob us of peace.

Philosophical Reflection:

This aligns closely with the Japanese concept of Wabi-Sabi, which embraces imperfections and impermanence as intrinsic to beauty. In a world obsessed with flawlessness, Kabiraj’s teaching serves as a gentle reminder that to be human is to be beautifully incomplete.

Modern Example:

Consider the paradox of social media today—people curate perfect lives online, yet behind the scenes, they may struggle with insecurities. Perfection is a mirage; embracing flaws leads to true contentment.

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The Paradox of Fate: The Strange Balance of Life

The humorous yet thought-provoking verse about handsome men with plain wives, beautiful women with unattractive husbands, and how wealth often escapes them both speaks to the unpredictable nature of destiny.

No matter how much control we believe we have, life balances itself out in unexpected ways. A person may have intellect but lack social skills, another may have charm but struggle with discipline. Life distributes its gifts unevenly, ensuring that no one has it all.

Philosophical Reflection:

This aligns with the Yin-Yang philosophy—opposites are interdependent, and harmony is found in contrast. The rich may envy the carefree life of the poor, while the poor dream of wealth. True wisdom lies in accepting and appreciating our unique circumstances.

Modern Example:

The entertainment industry is filled with examples—many actors who reach the pinnacle of fame struggle with loneliness and depression. Success in one area does not guarantee fulfillment in all.

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The Fire of Desire: The Insatiable Hunger of Wants

"Desires do not diminish with fulfillment. Like fire fueled by ghee, they only grow stronger."

This profound observation on human nature captures one of the greatest struggles of existence—the endless cycle of craving. No matter how much we achieve, the next goal always beckons. The satisfaction of one desire breeds another, creating a life of endless pursuit.

Philosophical Reflection:

This aligns with Buddhist teachings on desire (Tanha)—the root of suffering. The moment we recognize that desires are infinite, we gain the power to detach from them. Contentment is not about having everything but about needing less.

Modern Example:

Consumerism thrives on this principle—every new gadget, fashion trend, or luxury product creates a new longing. Those who master their desires find true freedom.

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The Four Brothers of Wealth: A Lesson in Responsibility

The metaphor of wealth having four brothers—Dharma, the King, Thieves, and Fire—is a strikingly pragmatic view of money. Wealth is not just something to be possessed; it is something to be managed with wisdom.

• If wealth is not used for good (Dharma), it is wasted.
• The government (King) will always take its share.
• The more one has, the more one must guard against greed (Thieves).
• A single disaster (Fire) can wipe it all away.

Philosophical Reflection:

This aligns with Hinduism’s concept of Karma-Yoga—wealth should be used as a means for righteousness, not just self-indulgence. Hoarding leads to loss, while mindful giving leads to abundance.

Modern Example:

The billionaire philanthropists of today—Warren Buffett, Bill Gates—understand this principle. True wealth lies not in accumulation but in responsible distribution.

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The Essence of Charity: Giving Without Expectation

The final lesson—the Sunday ritual of giving to the poor, despite their complaints—highlights a fundamental truth: charity is about the giver, not the receiver.

True generosity is unconditional. If we expect gratitude in return, we are not giving; we are trading. This lesson is crucial in an age where social validation often overshadows genuine acts of kindness.

Philosophical Reflection:

This aligns with Islamic Zakat, Christian teachings of selfless giving, and the Hindu concept of Daana—charity should be given with humility and without expectation of reward.

Modern Example:

Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) is often criticized for being driven by publicity rather than genuine intent. The highest form of giving is done in silence, without seeking recognition.

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Final Reflection: The Eternal Whisper of Wisdom

The narrative of the grandson learning from his grandfather is more than a collection of teachings; it is a passing of wisdom through generations. In a world increasingly driven by technology, such oral traditions are fading. But the essence of these lessons remains timeless.

Dadaji’s wisdom teaches us:

• Embrace imperfections—Perfection is an illusion.
• Accept fate’s paradoxes—Life balances itself in ways we may not understand.
• Master desires—Contentment is the real wealth.
• Use wealth wisely—Money is a tool, not a purpose.
• Give without expectation—True charity comes from a pure heart.

These lessons are not just philosophical musings; they are blueprints for a meaningful life. And just as the grandson once sat by his grandfather, absorbing these teachings, we too must pass them forward—so that the wisdom of the past continues to shape the future.